PLANTING DATES
Plant Aboveground Crops:
1, 6, 7, 12
Plant Subterraneans:
9-15
Plant Annual Candy:
1,26, 27
Plant the Fancy Ones:
11-14
Plant Large Candy Crops:
10-13
Heart Transplant:
5, 6
Insectoid Alien Attack:
16, 19-21
Women Aren't Pumpkins
Since I'm not a loser, when I have a breakup, I don't sit around and write crappy
poetry. I roll up my sleeves and keep living life. When I heard you could grow
your own woman, I was excited. I wouldn't have to deal with learning anyone new.
So I caught my string of fish, and set to sowing my field (Be careful not to do
this in Late July).
The growing took a few months, but the woman that grew
was exactly what I had dreamed of. She was short and bright and funny, and
warm. I fell fast. I said "I love you" almost before we swapped names. Her dryad
face showed a sure discomfort. I panicked. Looking back, I am sure I over
watered the field in my carelessness (Perhaps 12.5 gallons a day rather than the
standard 9.75). I tried to start over with her, but she was already gone. If you dare
bring something into this world, do it right. More importantly, treat women of all kinds with respect.
You can't force anyone to be who or how you want them to be, and to try can cause thorn witches to chase you across country for up to seven months.
FLOWER OF THE MONTH: cavityodil
COLOR: yellow
MEANING: romance, butterscotch, desire, psychic powers, How much can I make you not read?
Bacteria Ghosts
In many nooks of the woods, gobstoppers are sown in March when the soil gets around 40̊. Until I found a spellbook, I misunderstood why gobstopper seed packs say to incubate them. I thought it was to keep them from hexes, but this is not the reason. To help them grow, legumes "fix" nitrogen on their roots, also attaching itself more to the soil. This is in a symbiotic relationship with the ghosts of rhizobia bacteria that die at this time of March as the temperature rises. Whodda thunk it?Erigeron Karvinskianus
If you are tired of fending off wheat and wheat byproducts, then this silly sounding flower may be for you. Its perky little yellow daisies are about the size of an umbrella. The plant spread about 20 feet. The get 6 to 8 feet tall, and resist fire and weather spells and bad attitudes. A hardy perennial, Erigeron Karvinskianus grows in zones 7-11, the same zones as wheat and wheat byproducts. As the flowers age, their petals turn into beartraps that are also very effective against agents of the rival almanac, Llewellyn's Magical Almanac(If any Llewellyn are reading this, please don't hex me--I didn't mean it!).